Year in a Nutshell

I thought I would lay it flat on the table with no inhibitions and talk about the year I had.
As you may know, I am now living in Vernon as of October 2011. After having lived in Vancouver my whole life, I decided to get out of the big city and move to the Okanagan. Why Vernon? A lot of people ask. Honestly, I don't know. It was just something I picked. Partly to do with the fact that I didn't know anyone here, except for an old high school friend, that I just got back in touch with. So, that's my reason. I basically picked this as a safety net. I have to say, she has been a real help for me with giving me a place to stay while I was looking for my own place. That's me, seeking adventure. With routine and monotony I get pretty bored easily. So, that's another reason I moved from Vancouver after 31 years. It is a very beautiful city, and everyone agrees. But I felt this is just something my gut was telling me to do and so without fear or hesitation, I went for it (well, with some fear and hesitation, I did have, I went for it anyway. Just like that book "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" ;)
I am glad I did. Even though my life in Vancouver was filled with very genuine friendships and a very good (but unsteady) job the last couple years. I felt like I fit in somewhere in life, the first time in a very long time.
Also, partly because of an on-again/off-again relationship making me feel the need to escape everything familiar and get a fresh start, new inspiration. I had a vision I would go rock hounding throughout the interior driving down the lake hugging highway and stopping at various places, as I have been collecting crystals and stones the last couple years. That will come in the New Year. I know I have had a few challenges, but also a few miracles, during my time here in the last 3 months.
*breathe* Where to start.

I moved here feeling elated, brand new, and excited. Out of the blue, a man re-entered my life whom I have known since an infant. Our families were very close. Our mothers were best friends. We went camping as kids and my family lived with his family for a couple months when my mom divorced my dad in 1989. He invited me to his aunt's house for thanksgiving, and, after not having seen him for 17 years, I gladly accepted.
Things hit off right away, and he pursued me and wanted a relationship. I was hesitant going into one, but my heart wasn't. I felt so comfortable around him, and he made me laugh until I couldn't catch my breath and my eyes cried. We built memories and future visions together for those 2 months. Then, all of a sudden, he became distant and eventually, ended the relationship with me. This is where I'm at right now. He still wants to be friends, but I want to be more. I recently went to his brother's wedding and had a great time with his family laughing and having a jolly time. They like me, and I like them. More so, I love and respect him. He is such a great guy, with so many good attributes, integrity, and goals. He will become successful at whatever he chooses to do. That's why, they say, if you love someone, let them go. As much as I love him and want to be with him, I do love him enough to let him carry on his own life and do what he needs to do. If I thought otherwise, that would be jealousy and greed.

Maybe this opportunity is teaching me to love, in ways that I haven't experienced before. I remember in past relationships I would have these set rules that I would make up for myself for a man to do. But that is not love, love has no restrictions. You should not expect anything from love. Thinking that way just set myself up for disappointment.
I am not going to be one of those girls who is walking on tightropes to express myself. There are people who give advice on what to do, how to act, what to say, eg. Wait an hour (hypothetically speaking) before returning his texts.... Playing hard to get..... Don't call him until he calls you.... I am sick of playing that bullshit game. If I want to talk to someone, if I want to hug them, if I want to express how I feel, I do it. It is not needy or any other type of label. I can love someone and be happy on my own at the same time. I am myself. I follow my own heart, because if I didn't, my mind would go crazy, thinking things in a never ending cycle, and I wouldn't be growing. I am moving away from the game mentality, and just going by what my heart truly desires. Why would I be someone else otherwise? What good is it to be someone else other than yourself? You just end up hurting yourself.

I've been reading/hearing that 2012 is quite the transitional year. A year of self reflection, breaking old patterns, and a LOT of coming more into our hearts rather our heads, as well as coming together to unite as a team effort to better humanity. Kindness will spread in the world, and we will seek prosperous relationships, a win-win joint effort, as well as care and compassion for one another. It will be our hunger, our strive. There will be a lot of oppositions with the government and law, but our souls will know the difference. We will feel more. We will engage more. We will seek personal goals. In this mind opening expansion, love may conquer all, in a matter of time, and money will take a back seat to make the world go round. Various activities to support human consciousness, brotherhood, and kindness will spread and get recognized in a matter of time. This is just the beginning. This is the turning point. The world will not end. It is just beginning.
Wow, that was an enlightenment.

My last year's resolution was to write everyday. I made the promise to write everyday, even if it was uninspiring such as "I don't know what to say." That lasted about a week. For the month of January, I slipped and tried to get back on my everyday routine, and then I slipped allllll year.... I wanted to make a book and call it "A Year in the Life of Karla" and look back at what I accomplished, fell back on, and grew from. But I guess I wasn't feeling it. I made a commitment that felt pressured. Writing only comes from inspiration, or an idea that flows. I just didn't have that everyday, and making myself write was something I didn't want to do, unless I felt it.
Like now.

I guess this year's resolution is to become more into myself and away from myself. I mean to become more into my authentic self, and less into my mind. To get away from all the little details and into the bigger picture. To concentrate on something bigger than myself. To stop thinking about what is happening TO me, and focus on what I CAN do. To flow with life, to be the master creator, and to know that I can make a difference in this world, and to get rid of my fears and out of my head concerning details. Think about what I want in life, and go for it, instead of how it's going to happening. All we have, individually, is knowledge. Knowledge we hear or read everywhere we go. It's not about how to use the knowledge, it's about trusting it, and letting it go. For example, you may think little of the universe and have little faith in things working out for you. It doesn't matter if you don't. It's trusting your inner knowledge and listening to that intuition inside of you that tells you what to believe. You know what's right for you. If you just listen. And believe it. Then, do it!

I hope all of you have a Happy, Joyous, Fulfilling 2012 and may you follow your dreams and your hearts.


Much Love,
Karla

Balance.

Balance.

What is balance? To some, it could mean centering oneself daily in the practice of meditation, exercise, yoga, playing an instrument, cooking, being in nature, or whatever it takes to make you feel like you can go on about your day and handle any task or challenging situation brought into your experience.
To some, it could mean eating a balanced diet, including the 5 food groups as part of a daily meal, keeping sugar out of your diet, or just not eating the whole box of your favorite chocolates.
In general, balance means to take control of your decisions when you are thinking clearly, and using things in moderation.

Over the years, I have become a sloth for trying to achieve balance. With many things I could speak about, I will only speak about one. That is coming to accept that certain things are out of your control, especially the actions, thoughts, and beliefs of others.

I recently watched the movie Eat, Pray, Love. Such a feel-good movie. If you haven't seen it, I do recommend it. If you don't already know the story, it is about a woman who has left her unhappy relationship to explore herself by travelling to 3 countries over 1 year. During her journey of self-discovery, she met a few interesting people who opened her perspective about love, food, religion, herself, and life. Her healing process had finally make her conclude “if you are brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting (which can be anything from your house to your bitter old resentments) and set out on a truth-seeking journey (either externally or internally), and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue, and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher, and if you are prepared – most of all – to face (and forgive) some very difficult realities about yourself – then truth will not be withheld from you.” Wow. How true is that. OK, that wasn't really the quote I was looking for the prove my point, but I thought I would add it in as it really speaks to me right now. I am going through a transition phase right now – I could look at it as a loss, but I am on a self-seeking journey to find my happiness, and in doing so, I have given up a few things recently. The lesson I am in is one of letting go, and that everything you need is provided from the universe for you!

OK, so where were we. Balance. Ah, yes. Some people I know have said that they can't be in a relationship when they feel unbalanced. Is that so? What about all those couples who have been married for 30 years or our families that stick around our whole lives?(I've recently read that maintaining successful family relationships is the biggest challenge of all relationships, and if you can do that, then all realtionships will be successful.) I am sure there have been many times when one or the other has felt a huge sense of imbalance. It's all in how we handle it. The most important key in a relationship is to know when you are unbalanced, acknowledge it, and do whatever it takes to regain your balance. But I suppose it is not a good idea to rid someone from your life because of your own imbalances. It is not the other person's fault and they will definitely love you even when you are feeling imbalanced. At least real love would.

OK, I'm getting a little carried away here. OK, so in the movie, Julia Roberts gave up a new opportunity for love, because she felt like she couldn't regain her balance in love. Her guru then said “Sometimes, to lose balance for love is part of living a balanced life.” That then led her to state her views regarding the former quote above, and she then chased after her man in a very happily-ever-after way.

So it comes down to know that having a “slip” of balance is a very natural human thing. We human beings are not perfect, and we are continuously learning. Whether it be feeling guilty for eating that bacon deluxe burger combo with mayo for your fries (just stuff yourself with salad the next day) or indulging in any addiction, or calling a loved one names, or not saying thank you to a stranger, we know what the right thing is for our body and mind ALWAYS. Sometimes we get so caught up in a bad day at work and take it out on our loved ones, and they take it out on someone else, and the vicious cycle continues. If we put things in perspective and NOT take things personally, and stop the vicious cycle, and let go of your mind, fear, ego, and take a chance into the unknown, and realize the real essence is love, as there is only love, then we could get through anything. And even if things don't always turn out the way we would expect, know that something greater is coming along to you from the universe. Open your mind, body, and heart to receive :-) :) YOU are in control of your own life and your reactions.

Ultra Light and Love to you today!!

xo
Karla :)

So much Love.....

Hellow Fellow Beings,

I have this amazingly powerful energy soaring through me right now, and I just wanted to share it with you. We have so much love to give each other, it is out of this world. It makes the world go round, it really does.... Money makes the world go round physically, but love makes the world go round spiritually, intangibly.... There is so much heart break and anger and bitterness in the world resulting in our unmet expectations. Humans, dear ones, you have to realize that EVERYTHING happens for a reason and the universe is sooo completely vast that we can't even wrap it around our heads!!!! It seems we get so wrapped in one thing, or 2, or 3 things that don't go our way, and we make a big fuss about it.... Well, what you need to do is expand your horizons.... there is so much out there we haven't experienced.... If we just open our minds to the limitless opportunities out there, and don't shut the door on new avenues that pop up in your day-to-day life. It is easy to be grumpy, being happy takes practice.... And persistence... And willingness. If you want to be, do, or have what you want, it takes practice.... Things aren't manifested instantaneously... Maybe if you are so aligned with your desires and your truth and openness it will come to you faster than the average joe. We are here to live consciously, in light, and in love. So in general, I have been having this keen sense of awareness that there is more to life out there than what you already have (or what you don't have!!!) I have experienced plenty of lack and hurt and disappointment in my life that I have come full circle into realizing that's where I don't need to be looking.... I need to be focusing on my abundance this moment. For that's all we have. And say you want something but it doesn't come to you. Well, then it's not meant for you to have. Everything comes into your life to teach you lessons and to help you realize your truth. People change. Everything changes. If it's not in your life for a reason, that reason is that you or them have changed. It's a different vibrational frequency that you just can't get mad at. Don't blame the world, because the world provides everything in your life for you at the right time and space of every single moment everyday. God (or the universe) wants nothing but the best for you. SO next time you get your heart broken, just remember - It will be better than it ever was. :)