Love

Today I found out that an old friend of mine went missing. For a second, I could relate noting that I once felt like “running away,” a means to escape from reality, into a deeper and dark secretive yet mysterious reality we have never known yet are so anxious to experience a better world out there. I'm sure everyone has felt like this at some point in their lives. Whether you're 6, or 16, or 26, or 46... I don't think age has anything to do with this behavior. I think the more we feel like acting on our emotions, the more we learn the consequences of our actions and it gets easier to manage our feelings as we learn to talk ourselves out of it.
I have had my heart broken, and it sucks. It feels like you really can't go on, that there is nothing really to live for, that a piece of YOU is missing... And I started to wonder.... Is that necessarily a bad thing??!
Love is the strongest emotion of all. What is love then, when you love someone, and you feel you have everything to give them? What is so bad about thinking of them as your world and can't wait to see them? That the thing you're doing every minute with joy is that joy they bring to you when you think of them? What is so bad about KNOWING that you have finally found someone that makes your heart skip a beat and the only thoughts you have are of the two of you enjoying to no extent the endless possibilities that lie in the two of yous' future? I mean, once you KNOW something, it's hard for other people to make a judment that you don't... Once you KNOW something, it's hard to get to explain to someone else how you FEEL about that person. They just don't understand because they can't FEEL the same feelings as you. Feelings are not explanatory... They are just felt, and are real. And my feelings have led me into every area of my life. They are my guidance. It's hard to go against your feelings, even if your mind rationalizes every little instance and nuiance and every little detail and nook and corner and cranny... It just doesn't all add up to the way you're FEELING. Feelings and logic are two separate planets... Although one is usually held higher for a person. Logic is explaining and weighing things out and making sense of it all.... Your thoughts can change, but your heart doesn't.... You can think anything your thoughts allow you to believe if you have control over them.... But your heart doesn't lie....Your thoughts just help you move on.... But a piece of your heart will always be with the one(s) that you loved.....
After relating to this story and being inspired to come to the terms of my own inner alignment/self realization by experience, I'm kind of wary now on what love is... I mean, if you don't get the feelings of all the above mentioned while in love, then what is it? And how hard do you fall? And what do you hold back to tell someone how you feel about them? I guess you can fall deeply in love but fall deeply for the wrong person. It just has to be an equal amount of give and take to have the same level of love flowing back and forth. You have to speak the same love language.... You have to give and know when to receive.... You have to receive and know when to give.... But most important of it all, is that you don't lose the LOVE for yourself that you once had that got lost along the way of your journey.... So you don't get burned out... So you save some for yourself and know when to give to yourself when you're not getting back.... Like this instance.... And my instance(s) I've had.... that have led to my distraught phases from the lack of love I had for myself.... But eventually we always will replenish ourselves.... It's just a learning process of realizing when we are empty..... And it'll always come.... We'll know and feel when that is...We just have to be patient.....
Love and Light!!!
Karla :)